What stands between me, myself, and I?

Does Queen love to fight or to fly with angels?

Dance on the sound of your thoughts, child was just one of grate advice my shamanistic mum, dona Laura gave me every time I would put my headphones on with the intention to dance on the rocks. But what happens when your own abstract thoughts have thoughts spilling over your insecurities into reality? What happens when your dance with life is just not enough because you think so?

“Love, can you explain?” — ask Alberto while I’m rushing toward the first tobacco shop.

“This ends today. I need to know my own personal darkness before I can move on. I need to know is it me or I’m under constant attack?” You see, my eavesdrop abilities come with a drawback — I can spy on darkness too. I guess the wild goose chase ends today because everyone knows I’ll always choose to stand with Father and Heaven. But, darkness had to try. Can’t blame them. That’s a reason I need my shamans and shamanistic confessions. They know a way around darkness. The way is to meet and know your personal darkness in order to defeat it.

“So, my angels, is it a fight or flight kind of relationship Queen has with you?” — I heard Anuk, my higher self, exclaiming to the Heavens. This gives me goosebumps. Good, again F words — fight or flight with angels. Just needs to be a title. Just love it. We all know Queen loves to fly with her angels so that one will be pretty simple for them both to answer. Queen had her share fights with her angels. For example, I was mad at Esajah for sharing with humans what I thought it should be a secret. Now he is confused because just a moment before he was collecting the list of my favorite food, although I told him I’ll choose Skittles. We all know it’s not healthy food. Now he’s helping me to keep part of my secret without even knowing because I choose to show Angel of Secret a secret on the way it’s a secret for the collective and for him. Now Mother, Esajah, and Raziel are sharing laughter in the Heavens wondering how I’m doing this what I do.

“Honey, you are my mine very well keep secret. Do you know what fight you had with Gabriel?” — asked my personal God.

“I don't know, I’ll ask him!”

Gabriel is God's massage angel, and he has a horn he always wanted to use. I made it happen.

“She remembers!” — exclaimed someone, Mother probably. Yeah, besides I made my own God, I made a Mother for me. That’s one special story I’ll tell in another memoir.

Now I heard that horn and Gabriels' laughter. Wonder, for what the horn is for?

“You shoot first then ask questions, don't you? Now fly with your angels, they need the Queen” — said dona Laura.

“Raphael, ready?” — asks Anuk. “Done!” — I heard.

“That was fast. How did you know?”

“I know I gave them runes, they had to try it on. Except that, I give an opportunity to help. I just had a feeling Rafael is waiting on my sign and I did it. Confidence I guess.” — mine answer to Laura.

What I can feel next? Raziel is one very blushed angel. Even he did not know that I’m his bookkeeper telling him a secret in the most innovative way so that in the end he finds out he is my well-kept secret.

“So, Raziel, do I have you on board to be part of my personal God?” — mine very romantic statement to him. I was up to making him part of my personal God to. I truly need someone stronger than me with the same interests.

“Michael, ready? Follow Esajah!” — he’ll chase Esajah's excitement. Angels over there will have the privilege to see in the first-hand power of Love, the best love story on Heaven written from Earth.

“Can I be there too?” — askes Alberto. I taught angels shamanism, maybe I can teach shamans to follow an angel. I did it before.

“Fallow Michael and Esajah.”

Now it’s last, but for real last game with Christ, because Raziel is on board but had to make one last cruel joke with me. Duality’s funny thing on Earth. I’ll need to stay confident in what I hear and know. No doubt there!

I needed a reality check. I’ll let my condor fly. You know what I did first when home, except teaching angels shamanism, I made a room. Teenage me never had a room, so that’s what meant for me to be home, at least for the human part of me. Turnes out my personal darkness is something it has been done to me by humans and I blamed myself while loving those humans so much that I dragged them on the heavens. They had to use portal that I showed to Christ. Big mistake, he did not even see it. Proving my point I’m better informed about what’s going on while he is clueless, running around trying his best but still not enough. I can rely upon that, that’s how I felt on Earth a lot, and repetition of those and how we react is the key. How do you deal with it when things go bad? You see, he never missed a chance to be mad, frustrated, or sad while Raziel laughed. The fact is, I made Raziel laugh in the right moment always on one and the same joke, asking who is my favorite bookkeeper while not letting him know my secret. Frustration is a funny thing when love has a story to tell, and if you manage to make it your source of laughter you win. Christ is actually making a joke out of himself when you put it like that, I’m just a Christina trying to tell a story about it.

“Do you know, baby girl, who is my favorite bookkeeper?” — asked me my God, this time strengthened by one angel more, making me blush.

“It’s me. The secret is how I’m doing it because I wanna you to know first, so you can show me what I showed you”

“You are my favorite bookkeeper and thank you for showing me!”

“You are afraid of your own experiences. Your intention was not clear. Only with a decision and learning more about them with a lesson and grace, you’ll be able to forgive yourself, and to move on beyond those.” — comes advice from Alberto.

“Only thing standing in your way is you, babygirl” — concluded Amon, my personal divine.